Then, as the light poured in onto the freshly blown dirt, I remembered something my parents have told me on several different occasions--that the negative responses people have are usually a result of their own unfulfilled dreams and not about the work of the one receiving the negative response. And I thought, This resentment I have probably has to do with a dream of mine. Here I am, mad that he is not doing something about the thing I have done nothing about. (You may need to read that sentence again.) And I thought, yes, that's the real problem here: It's time I plant a garden.
negative responses.
Our gardener (the one the landlord pays to come each week) came at seven this morning. However, we don't have any grass or bushes for him to trim. He walked around the yard looking for the things to tend to and then finally went back to his car only to return with a leaf blower (neither do we have leaves), which he aimed at the dirt, sending the dust in circles before leaving. I found myself feeling irritated that he didn't do more "tending". I mean, the landlord pays him--this is his job! Shouldn't he do his job? I started making a list in my head of all the things he could have tended to: remove all the scattered brick left from the construction project, sweep the concrete areas, and pick up any trash. He could have done something, I thought--anything!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I resonate with this deeply.
ReplyDeleteTRUTH.
ReplyDeleteWhen Joshua and I argue, 9 times of 10 it has nothing to do with the harmless action or words coming from him and everything to do with my frustration with myself. When I feel angry, I ask: "Am I embarrassed? Am I ashamed? Am I feeling alone?" I not only have to BE the change I want to see in the world, I have to understand that I am the only one who can act on my dreams.
Time to plant a garden.
LIGHT shining on my thoughts and experiences, too. Thanks for shining it.
ReplyDeleteCatching up...